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What percentage of the people you know, would you consider happy and fulfilled?
From my perspective, this isn't a very promising number.
Sure, many people may seem satisfied from the outside.
Maybe they have a good career, financial stability, and a beautiful family, but deep down, are they truly happy with who they are and what they've done with their lives?
Research suggests people are less happy, despite having all of the modern day luxuries.
I used to imagine what happiness would look like.
I pictured a beautiful house, two kids, a husband, nice cars, and exciting vacations.
I gave so much of my heart and soul to make this dream life a reality.
Then suddenly, I hit a wall.
It was as if someone let all the air out of my balloon.
Looking around, I had so much of what I always wanted, yet the emptiness never waned.
Of course, it faded in and out.
A rush of online shopping, a few glasses of wine, and beautiful memories with my kids were all temporary reliefs from the pain I couldn't bear to confront.
What was it that left me feeling hollow, lonely in a crowded room, and always wanting to escape?
It took years to pull back the veil.
I realized I had lost myself in a sea of expectations, untruths, denial, and a deep-rooted fear of abandonment.
An awakening was on the horizon.
It was now time to embark on a long and windy quest of self-discovery.
One I had never dared to venture on before, for fear of what I might find.
At this point, I had already lost myself, so I figured what was there left to lose?
After two years of my spiritual journey, the best way I can describe it is to imagine going to the ends of the earth and back, returning with that missing piece.
I searched far and wide, and in the end, I found my truth.
I discovered that part of myself I let slip away, as I looked for happiness and security outside of myself.
I wanted to share with you some of the steps I took to find myself again in hopes that it will support you on your own journey to feeling strong inside and out.
“ I understood myself only after I destroyed myself. And only in the process of fixing myself, did I know who I really was. ”
STILLNESS IS THE WAY
The very first step in my self-discovery was cultivating stillness through mindfulness meditation.
Stillness can look a lot of different ways, but it must include time away from the noise.
I find early mornings, when everyone is still asleep, to be the best time for solitude.
Life seems to always be moving, but in stillness, we pause for a moment.
We take back control of our minds and our thoughts.
Consistency in stillness breeds new thought forms and new ideas.
It allows space for the answers you have been seeking to show themselves.
The more we practice being rather than doing, the closer we get to Source Energy.
Practice being in solitude and getting quiet as often as possible.
Preferably, ten to twenty minutes every morning.
Trust yourself
We all have an inner guidance system. Some call it intuition, others call it your Inner Being or Higher Self.
Whatever you call it, understand that it is real, and its job is to nudge you in the direction of your purpose and calling in life.
To become fully aware of your Higher Self requires stillness.
As you allow the chaos of the physical world to fade, you begin to sense the deeper part of you.
The more you practice, the easier it will become to know and trust yourself on a deeper level.
Most of us never learn how to tune-in to this inner wisdom because we are conditioned to search outside of ourselves for the answers we seek.
When we develop this relationship with our Inner Being, we begin to understand that peace is cultivated from within.
It comes as a result of trusting our instincts and following through on our impulses.
Once we learn to do this effectively, we move into alignment.
In alignment, we can see the forest for the trees.
We feel the pull of the universe, guiding us and can trust in our decisions.
PHYSICAL HEALTH
Our bodies are a vessel. They are incredible machines that must be cared for properly if we expect them to operate efficiently.
Denying ourselves proper health, fitness, and nutrition is a form of self-sabotage.
If we can't respect our bodies enough to nourish them with exercise and healthy foods, what’s the point of everything else?
Physical health is the pinnacle of an optimal life. Without it, we don't have the energy we need to sustain an incredible life experience.
We can't move toward our dreams without a healthy body to get us there. Regular exercise is critical in achieving our highest potential.
PRACTICE SELF-CARE
Right alongside physical health is proper self-care. We have to remind ourselves that self-care is not a luxury. It is a necessity.
Make a promise to yourself to stop equating selflessness with love.
The more we deny ourselves self-care, the more we subconsciously resent those we give so much of our time away to.
We unconsciously blame others when we put their needs before our own.
This habit of neglecting ourselves harms our physical and mental well-being.
Commit to no longer pat yourself on the back for giving everything you have to everyone else and sacrificing your wants and needs in the process.
Instead, congratulate yourself for spending a few hours getting a massage and a manicure.
Your goal should be to fill your cup first. Only then will you have enough to spill over into loving and caring for others.
GET TO KNOW YOURSELF
Take yourself on a date, make time to journal, or create a vision board.
Revel in the visions, dreams, beliefs, values, and aspirations that make you unique.
Acknowledge yourself for the struggles you've had to overcome and the life you've created.
Look at yourself in the mirror and say I love you.
Make a list of ten things you love about yourself.
Forgive yourself for the mistakes that you've made.
You are perfectly imperfect, and so is everyone else.
The most important relationship you will ever cultivate is the one you have with yourself.
You must practice showing love and kindness to yourself often.
To be healthy inside and out involves setting boundaries, keeping the promises you make to yourself, and nurturing yourself the same way you would others.
It's about being your own cheerleader and respecting yourself enough to say no to others when it is not aligned with what you want and need.
